Chapter Fifty–Seven
Ava’s POV
The sunlight streamed through the opened living room curtains in gold and black trimmings, the rays settling on the table just across the floor where Zareon was busy pulling at the ends of my hair like they were vines he wanted to climb, I winced at the tingling pain, but I didn’t stop him. I just sat there, legs tucked underneath me, arms wrapped around his small, wriggling body, while Phoenix laughed beside me, her phone turned toward me with a brightness in her eyes I hadn’t seen in months.
“Look at this one,” she said, grinning. “I braided her hair here, and she wouldn’t stop asking me to take more pictures of her. She was so happy about the new look. God, I could cry just looking at her sometimes.”
I leaned in, and the photo she showed me nearly stole the breath from my lungs. Her daughter’s tiny face was scrunched up in mid–giggle, a half–toothless smile lighting up her features, the braid Phoenix had made making her face pop and look cute. Phoenix looked radiant beside her, eyes soft, cheeks flushed, a kind of light I hadn’t seen in so long radiating from her entire face. It made something in my chest twist.
“She looks more like you the more she grows up,” I murmured.
Phoenix chuckled, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “I hope so. But that laugh? Definitely her dad’s.”
I smiled, but it didn’t reach my eyes. The happiness in Phoenix’s face was genuine, but it didn’t erase the ache in my gut. She’d only been granted a few hours with her daughter, one day. And yet she beamed like she had the whole world in her hands. That terrified me. Because if I let Kyle and his family back in, even though that wasn’t that plausible, but let’s assume… would I be reduced to clinging to a few precious hours like that? Would I be forced to learn how to survive on crumbs?
No way.
I swallowed, hugging Zareon a little tighter where he sat on my lap, fiddling with a strand of my hair like it was his new toy. The sudden squeeze made him pause and look up at me, blinking with his wide, curious eyes that looked like he was trying to read why I was squeezing him.
I smiled at him, brushing his cheek. I didn’t want to imagine a world where I only got “a few times” with him. I didn’t think I could survive it. I wasn’t calling Phoenix a bad mother or making a jest of her life. Not at all. But the idea of being separated from Zareon, even for a moment longer than I had to, spread something painful and fearful in my chest.
Not as if that was possible. Regina had made it clear Zareon wasn’t a part of their family. She had cancu nim a lie, a fake I had fabricated just to get to her son. As if. I mentally scoffed. It makes me wonder if Kyle was aware that his mother had reached out to me and spat that nonsense in a voicemail after I gave no response to her messages and calls.
Phoenix was still talking, telling me something about how her daughter had started to express herself more, when my phone buzzed on the table beside me. I glanced at it, not thinking much of it. Probably a spam or maybe a reminder for one of Zareon’s wellness checks, since the media had suddenly lost interest in me, for
now.
I clicked it open with a flick of my thumb, half of my brain trying to focus on what Phoenix was telling me. And the other is on the message.
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<Chapter Fifty–Seven
Ava, I know I don’t deserve your time, but can I see you and Zareon?
My stomach dropped.
I didn’t need to ask who it was. I knew instantly where it came from.
“Kyle,” I whispered under my breath.
I guessed Regina didn’t mention her visit to her son, or Kyle wouldn’t have messaged me.
Phoenix stopped talking. “What?”
Fonts7
I turned the screen toward her, letting her read the message. She blinked once, then twice, then leaned back.
“Are you going to let him?” she asked.
I stared at her. “What?”
She shrugged, biting the inside of her cheek like she was trying to decide whether to say more. “You’re not obligated to answer right away. I just thought… maybe.”
“You….are you serious?” I asked more sharply than I meant. “After everything that happened?” I asked, suddenly feeling angry that she would say that so casually.
“Phoenix, you know what I went through. You were there. You held my hand through it all. You saw me in that hospital bed when I nearly died just because I gave that man a second chance at life. You saw what it cost
me.”
Her mouth pressed into a thin line. “I know….”
“No, you don’t.” My voice cracked, rising in volume, as words spilled faster out of my mouth before I could process them. “You didn’t almost die to save someone who broke you. You didn’t carry a baby inside you while your heart was breaking, terrified every single day that something might happen because your body couldn’t hold up. I did. Me. I gave him life, and I almost lost mine in the process! I still have days when I can’t get out of bed. Pills to chunk down just to manage my health.”
Phoenix didn’t answer. She just looked at me, her expression softening even more, and that made me even more upset for a reason I don’t understand.
“And what happens if Zareon gets close to him? Huh? What if Kyle changes his mind? Or disappears again? What if….what if Zareon gets hurt? What if he gets maltreated and bullied? It is plausible since his mother called him a fake, yet you said that?”
I didn’t realise I was crying until I heard Zareon whimper in my arms, his fingers running up and do face, his face scrunched up in an impending cry, clearly startled from my sudden outbursts. My che clenched at the terrified look on his face.
y
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, brushing his curls from his forehead before pressing his small body to my chest. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Phoenix reached out and gently took him from me. He didn’t fight her, rather, he nestled against her chest as she rocked him slowly, patting his back.
I wiped at my face with shaking fingers. “I’m sorry,” I whispered again, ashamed of myself. “I shouldn’t have lost it like that.”
Outside, I had lashed out at Phoenix, but in truth, I was fighting myself, not her, and she knows that. A very
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Chapter Fifty–Seven
43 Points >
weak part of me had wanted to see Kyle, to know if he was fine. To grant him his wish to see his son as soon
as I received his message, but another part of me wanted to fight against that weak nd emotional part of me,
but when Phoenix said what she said, it felt like she was encouraging me instead of berating me, and it made me flare. It was embarrassing, and I didn’t know how to take back the words I said to her because she didn’t
deserve it.
Phoenix shook her head. “No. You needed to. I get it. I know this kind of pain doesn’t go away just because someone says sorry. I’m not saying you should let him in. I’m just saying… don’t punish yourself or Zareon for being scared. You’re allowed to be scared.”
I sniffled, looking at her. “But you said…how could you even ask me if I’d let him see Zareon all so easily?”
I didn’t expect that from her. A part of me had relied on her straightforward words of not succumbing to my emotions, but then she said just what I don’t want to acknowledge.
Phoenix looked down at Zareon and smiled before meeting my eyes again. “Because when I was told I couldn’t see my daughter anymore… I thought I would lose my mind. I kept imagining she would forget me. That someone else would take my place. It drove me to the edge. You remember.”
I nodded. How could I not? She was a shell of her usual self.
“I know I told you never to give Kyle a chance,” she continued. “And maybe I still believe that sometimes. But then, not seeing Alina, not hearing her voice, not holding her hand…” She paused and swallowed hard. “It changed something in me. Ava, I don’t want that kind of madness for anyone. Not even Kyle.”
I didn’t respond. It was as if I were staring at a new side of my friend, a more compassionate side that suddenly wanted me to break down in full tears.
She held Zareon a little tighter. “Ava, this boy needs his father in his life. And like it or not, Kyle needs his son,
too.”
“I know that,” I whispered. “God, I know that. It’s just that I’m not comfortable giving him that chance now. Especially not after what his mother said about Zareon. I’m scared for him.”
“Then don’t do it for Kyle or his family. Do it for Zareon.”
I didn’t say anything for minutes. I didn’t have a neat reply or anything that could justify the way my heart shook every time I thought of me and Kyle in the same space. It wasn’t just fear of what his presence does to my heart, and me ending up getting my heart broken each day I see him. It was the fear of Zareon loving him and then losing him. Or worse, getting the hatred of his grandparents, because God, had I been there. I’ve
‘s the witnessed Regina turning against me while Harold just watched as if he didn’t care. And then the stepmother. Everything was just too uncomfortable to give in to.
Phoenix handed Zareon back to me. He clung to my neck like he feared I was going to snap again.
My heart broke at that.
“You’re not wrong for wanting to protect him,” Phoenix said, breaking the awkwardness, her eyes gentle and older as they looked at me. “And I’m not saying this will be easy. You’ll get hurt. You probably will because he would crowd your thoughts the more time he spent with Zareon. But Kyle will, too. And Zareon will feel it either way. You can’t stop that kind of pain. But you can choose to be honest through it. Forget about the unbearable in–laws.”
I looked at her, tears sliding down again. It felt like she was speaking to us both, herself and me. Two broken
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Chapter Fifty–Seven
friends and mothers.
“I’m so tired and scared,” I whispered.
“I know.”
“I don’t want him to suffer any form of heartbreak.”
She sighed. “I know, but you and I know he needs to experience that to live this life. It is inevitable.”
“Yes, but…”
+ Points >
I trailed off, staring down at Zareon, who was now dozing in my arms, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks. His breath was soft and steady. A feeling to protect him from any cruel things fate has in store for him spread across my heart.
“I’m not making any promises,” I said, returning my gaze to Phoenix.
She nodded, then, with a groan as she pushed herself u
