CHAPTER 39–Moving on.
CHAPTER 39 – Moving on.
CHAPTER 39 – Moving on.
KYLIE’s POV
My decision to end things with Elijah gnawed at me, ate at me, and all but wanted to suffocate me. I kept having to remind myself that it was the best possible thing I could do. Elijah was not the man I thought he was. Neither was he the man I wanted him to be. To simply put, he was bad for me.
But if he was so bad, why was there a constant limp in my chest every time I thought about him?
I sighed and rubbed at my heart. Since I asked to be friends, I refused to acknowledge that this new era of my life truly hurt. But I think I’ve only just been delusional. Because if I was being honest with myself, then I actually really missed Elijah.
I sighed and walked to my wardrobe to pick an outfit for the date I had agreed to go
To with Matthew, but for some reason I felt no joy about the whole thing. Instead, I felt like I was simply completing an obligation. One that I wish I didn’t have to.
Even worse yet was how I kept thinking about Elijah. He was at the forefront of my mind, as I kept comparing how I felt preparing for our dates together.
Giddy, excited, something like a young schoolgirl lost in the thrill.
Elijah had a way of keeping me on my toes, even when I was acting like I did not want our dates.
“Come on, Kylie,” I said to myself, feeling somewhat frustrated with myself. I couldn’t keep this up. The mental back and forth was too tiring.
I picked out a warm yellow sun dress and held it in front of me. I liked it, it was casual, cute, and would hug me nicely. Only, when I was with Elijah, I didn’t go for casual, cute, and warm hugs. I went for hot, attractive, and “don’t you dare look away from me”
“Ugh,” I said in frustration. I was making those comparisons again.
I placed the dress on the bed and went to pick up my phone. There was only one way left to settle this entire drama. I was going to call my best friend Jessica and ask her what she thought. Hopefully, she would bring some clarity to my little confusing situation.
“What’s up?” She asked, sounding so upbeat and happy,
“Jessica…” I whined and laid out across my bed. She giggled at my whine before asking what my problem was.
“It’s this date, Jess.”
“What about the date?” She asked, sounding a bit concerned.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if I’m making the right choice. What do you think? Do you think I moved too fast with Matthew? Do you think I should forget this whole thing and give Elijah a chance?”
“Elijah a chance? Now why in the world would you even consider that?” She asked truly sounding baffled and I pouted.
“I don’t know.” But I did, in fact, know. I wanted to give him a second chance because I missed him. It wasn’t rocket science, to be honest.
I missed and then thought of starting a new relationship with a new man scared the hell out of me.
She sighed before responding, “I know testing this water is new and a bit hard for you. You’ve never really been one to jump headfirst into something new.” She said it so gently that I felt weepy. “But that is not to say that you should go back to Elijah! The boy is a walking red flag! Matthew on the other hand, is a way of sunshine. He will be good to you and for you, and I think you should give him a chance. I think you won’t regret it.”
I sighed. She had a point. I couldn’t give up the possibility of being happy with Matthew just because I was unable to le Elijah go.
I sat up on the bed and sighed again.
“Fine then. Fine.” I said and began to rise, “Let’s go on a date.” I said, with a lot more motivation and interest than I had moments ago.
I still felt my sadness, I still missed Elijah a lot more than I cared to admit. But I was going to try, and that was something.
The restaurant was one I hadn’t been to before, but it was nice and cozy. It had fewer people than I would have expected on a Friday night, but I didn’t argue with that. In any case, I think I preferred the lack of people. It offered privacy that I hadn’t even considered that I needed for a first date with Matthew.
And when thoughts of all the restaurant dates bubbled up and tried to attack me mentally, I fought to suppress them all.
Although there was the moment when the thoughts won. This moment when I felt panic that I was actually with the wrong
1/2
CHAPTER 39–Moving on
man.
“There must be something wrong with me,” Matthew said, his words piercing through my thoughts and I smiled up at him.
“Why? Why would you say that?”
“Because I told you just how beautiful I think you look in that dress.”
The blush came naturally and I rubbed at the h of my skirt. But I was thankful for the diversion of thoughts.
“Thank you, Matthew. You look really good, yourself.” And I wasn’t just saying it. He had taken the time to put his usually long hair in a bond and sleeked it in this really rancher type of way. It had an appeal, and I liked it.
“I’m glad you think so. I wouldn’t want to disappoint on our first date.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever really disappointed even outside of a date,” I said easily and he smiled.
I had to admit that I appreciated the easy flow of our conversation.
At the very least, talking to him and being present with him, offered me a chance to take my mind off Elijah.
We were an hour deep into our date when I suddenly needed to use the restroom.
“I’ll be right back. “I said apologetically and rose so he could show me to the restroom.
“You don’t have to go with me.”
“It’s perfectly fine.” He said and guided me to the door.
When I was done, he was out there standing, waiting for me. And I wasn’t sure if it was giving you obsessive or cute. As I
walked toward him, I decided it could be both.
Just then, the most unexpected person walked toward him and struck up a conversation with him and I looked up and prayed for mercy.
“You’re out.” He said happily and I smiled, although it felt stiff as I turned to Justin.
“You’re his date?” Justin said by way of greeting and I just looked at him.
“Hello, Justin.” That was my only reply.
I wish he would have read the room and left, but instead he smiled and walked with us back to our chairs.
“I don’t know, I mean we are all here right, how about we have a meal together or something?” Justin asked, indirectly asking to join my date with Matthew.
“Or something.” This was the reply I wanted to give, but instead, I turned to Matthew to give an answer. Hoping and praying he would say No.
Subscribe
