Chapter 312
I stood there, holding the strap of my backpack a little tighter. “Oh Okay.”
I waited. Just in case she changed her mind, Just in case, she glanced at me, saw something in my face, and said, “You know what? Get your shoes on. I’ll drive you.”
But she didn’t. She reached for her lipstick instead. It was bright red almost too red. Like the actresses in those TV shows I watched alone most nights when they weren’t home.
I bit the inside of my cheek.
I missed when she used to take me to school, kiss my forehead, and tell me to be a good boy. I used to wave at her from the gate, and she’d wave back through the window. That was a long time ago, hough.
But I guess I’d never experience that ever again.
“Mum?” I called cautiously. I didn’t want to upset her. Lately, she got irritated when I spoke too much.
“Mhm?” She replied, adding some more lipstick to her lips.
7
I stepped closer, careful not to bump into the vanity table. “Did… did I do something wrong?” I gathered the courage to ask the question I’ve always wanted to ask her for so long now. But she didn’t even look at me.
I pressed the tip of my finger to the edge of the table and started to tap it. One–two. One–two. Slow and nervous.
“You used to hug me,” I whispered. “You used to call me your little man and tell me I was smart. But now you don’t even look at me. You… you suddenly became so mean. Did I become a bad boy? Is that why you stopped?”
She froze and slowly turned to look at me. She turned like it hurt to do it.
“Kester…” she said my name and her voice was so soft. It wasn’t annoyed or tired. Just… soft.
For the first time in so long, I saw my Mum’s eyes soften a little bit.
I saw her really look at me.
I was happy. I made the right decision to come to talk to her. At least I got her to look at me after so long.
Before today, she only gave me simple answers to questions and barely even spares me a glance. But today, she looked at me.
My heart was filled with so much joy. I wished I could hold on to the moment forever. I had almost forgotten the reason I was there or the question I asked her a few seconds ago. Even if she did not answer my question anymore, I would leave her room happy.
I smiled when she called my name.
“What…” She swallowed, “Why would you think…” She looked away.
“It’s okay, Mum. You don’t have to feel sad about it,” I said softly, trying to catch her eyes again. “I love you, Mum. Just that… I get too lonely most of time.”
Her lips trembled, but she said nothing.
I miss when we were a happy family,” I continued, my voice almost whisper now. “I get jealous of the other kids in school… their mums bring them lunch sometimes… or wait at the gate to wave at them. I just… I just miss you.”
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Chapter 312
I didn’t want to upset her. I really didn’t. So I spoke as carefully as possible, like I was walking on broken glass with my bare feet.
A single tear rolled down her creek, and I wiped it off immediately.
“Kester, baby…” She turned to face me again, taking my hands in her. The moment they wrapped around mine, I felt the truth: she had been holding so much pain, all alone.
And now, she was crying. And I felt sad about it.
Tears spilled fast. She wasn’t hiding them anymore. “You’ve been a good boy, and I’ve always been so proud of you. I just… It’s just…” Her voice broke, and she folded in, burying her face into my small hands as if she could hide there.
I hated seeing her like that.
And I hated not knowing what to do.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I tried wiping the many tears I could, but they wouldn’t stop coming. “Please don’t
cry…”
“Listen to me,” she said, looking up suddenly. She cupped my cheeks. “Listen well, my boy. This is very important, and you must do exactly as I-
BAM!
The bedroom door slammed open so hard it banged against the wall with so much force that I almost jumped out of my skin.
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