Chapter 120
KASMINE
“Why did you shut me out, Kasmine?” His voice wasn’t angry anymore–It was low, almost broken, and it hit deeper than the yelling ever could. He dragged a hand through his damp hair, fingers tightening in frustration before he let them drop to his sides. “Why?”
I scoffed. God, he was unbelievable,
“Why don’t you go spend more quality time with your fiancee?” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.” Maybe she’ll help you forget that I even exist,” I said, holding his gaze and hoping I looked as serious as I wish I lookord
His brows pulled together as if the words physically pained him. “It’s not what you think, baby. Let me explain.
Please
The earlier Laccepted this, the better for me. For us.
“Don’t,” I cut in quickly before losing my nerve. “Don’t give me that line, Kester. Don’t you dare try to fix this with sweet words and that look on your face.”
“Kasmine-”
“No!” 1 bit out, my voice trembling despite how hard I fought to keep it steady. “There is nothing to explain! Didn’t I tell you before now? Didn’t I say we’ll never go past the doors of our rooms?” My throat tightened around the words, but I forced them out, venom and all.
“I knew this would happen. I anticipated it. And guess what I took a step toward him, arms still folded, my jaw tight. “I Don’t Care.”
I spat those words like they were true.
But Kester only stared at me with those infuriatingly knowing eyes. And then… he chuckled. Not the amused kind. The kind soaked in disbelief.
“You don’t care?” he repeated in a deadly calm tone. His gaze dragged down my body slowly–like he was reading every crack I was trying to plaster over.
“Then tell me why you’re trembling with rage, Kasmine?” He stepped forward. I took an involuntary step back.” Tell me why you shut yourself out for two whole days without wanting to speak to me. Why you wouldn’t even look at me.”
I clenched my fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms to keep the tears from rising again. But they burned
anyway.
His tone dropped lower as he stepped closer. “Tell me you don’t care, baby, and make me believe it. Look me in the eye and tell me none of this–none of us–meant anything.”
He stopped just inches from me. His warm presence wrapped around me like heat–infuriating and magnetic and completely suffocating
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted to shove him out the door and beg him not to leave
But all I could do was stand there–shaking, breath stuttering in my throat, chest rising and falling like I’d just
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run a marathon I never signed up for. My fingers curled into my palms, willing my body to still to stop betraying me in front of him.
“June is just a means to an end. I’ll call off the engagement before that ring even gets the chance to sit cold on her finger,” he stepped forward, taking my hands in his, “You’re the one I love.”
My breath hitched.
“You’re the one I live for,” he whispered.
God.
His eyes searched mine as if I was the only thing in the world that made sense to him.
“What you saw the other day… that wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t want it. And I’m sorry. So fucking sorry.” His grip on my hands tightened as if afraid I’d pull away. “I swear to you, Kasmine–I’ve never touched her. I never will.”
My heart twisted. No, fluttered. Then, it dropped again.
Because for days, I’d been torturing myself with the idea of them together. The image of her hands on him. His lips on hers. I had imagined it in cruel, vivid detail and all the while, I was wrong?
Stupid.
Utterly, painfully wrong
“Baby…” he breathed, brushing his knuckles gently across my cheek like he was touching glass. “Even if you won’t say it… I know this means something to you.”
His voice was quieter and tender now. The kind of voice that folded around you like warm sheets on a cold night. The kind that stripped defenses bare.
“I see it in your eyes. I feel it every time you breathe my name, like you’re trying not to. And I know you’ll admit it. one day.”
His thumb slowly brushed my cheek again, like he was memorizing me
“That’s why I’m patient with you.”
My lips parted, but nothing came out.
Because how do you speak when someone is looking at you like you’re all they’ve ever wanted? How do you breathe when the person you tried so hard to keep out has already taken root beneath your skin?
He was everywhere.
In my chest. In my thoughts. In the ache between my ribs.
His thumb kept tracing slow, agonizing lines across my check like he was trying to soothe something inside me- something he didn’t realize he was the one tearing open.
“I’m patient with you, little sister,” he whispered again
It almost broke me.
I hated how my body responded. How my chest tightened, my throat ached and my lips nearly parted to say the words he had always wanted to hear me say.
But I couldn’t.
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This… us… it was always meant to fall apart. From the beginning, it was doorned. And the longer I let him in, the harder it would be to crawl out of the wreckage.
So I took in a shaky breath, reached up, and gently pulled his hand away from my face.
His brows drew together. “Kasmine-?”
“I could never love you,” I said flatly.
A lie.
It tasted like ash in my mouth.
His eyes darkened, and I saw the flare of hurt flash across his face.
“Don’t,” he said softly, dangerously. “Don’t say that.”
But I didn’t stop.
“I’m being realistic, Kester. You should try it sometime.” forced my arms to cross over my chest again as if that could hold everything in “In nine days, I’ll find my mate. Or maybe I’ll end up with my betrothed. Either way, this thing between us–it ends.”
No.” He stepped forward again, jaw clenching, “No, you don’t get to stand there and
“Yes, I do!” I snapped, my voice cracking like thin ice under pressure. “I have to. Because if I don’t… I’ll… I’ll….” I swallowed the words.
“I’ll fall deeper…‘
But those words were enough to unravel Kester. I couldn’t let him get the slightest hint that I had fallen for him. It would be his ruin.
He looked like I had slapped him.
I wanted to turn away because staring into those stormy eyes while I said this felt like self–mutilation–but I didn’t. I owed him the dignity of my paze
“I know what this has been for you,” I said, my tone growing softer now and bitter at the edges. “Something wild. Something thrilling. But it’s not love. Not really. It’s adrenaline. A forbidden fruit. A distraction.”
His chest rose. “Don’t. Don’t reduce it like that.
“And you” I swallowed hard. “You don’t get to break June’s heart just because you think you can. If you go through with this engagement, then go through with the marriage, too. Don’t come looking for me afterward Don’t lock on my door at midnight or call my name like it still belongs to you. Because once you put that ring on her finger, Kester, it’s over”
His face contorted, pain bleeding into fury. “That’s not fair I just need time to-”
“I don’t care,” I whispered, lying through my teeth. “Four more days, Kester. That’s all we have left to drown in this secret of ours. You have every right to my body for the next four days. So, enjoy the thrill while it lasts. But know this “I took a breath so sharp it nearly cut my lungs.“–once you’re engaged, I will never let you anywhere near me again.”
Silence.
He stood there, his whole body vibrating with emotion that was sure he didn’t know where to place.
And I just stared at him, even as my vision blurred with the tears I refused to shed.
My heart was screaming, ‘Tell him you love him.”
But my mouth wouldn’t dare betray me.
Because love was reckless,
And love with him was ruin.
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