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I was about to give in, to hug her for the yearning she had felt for so long. But then, the flashback of my past loomed over
- me.
“I did that because I love you.” Ross‘ voice echoed in my mind.
“Please, don’t push me away. I love you, Ana. I love you so much.”
“What?” My voice was tight, barely above a whisper, but the words cut through the tension. I swallowed hard, my throat dry. “You love me more than just as a friend? And you did it because of that love? Seriously? Is that what love means to you? To manipulate? To hurt and then act like you’re healing it?” I wasn’t even sure if my words were meant for Barbara or the Ross in my head.
The surge of anger in me was hot and sharp, a knife that cut through all parts of my sanity. My fists were clenched with my nails digging into my palms while I tried hard to hold back the flood of emotion that threatened to spill over.
Now, it wasn’t about trust now. It was about how she perceived love. How people like her perceived love. I had enough psychos around me. Nope. I will not have another.
“Luc-” Barbara opened her mouth to speak, but I was done. I wasn’t going to listen to any more psychotic nonsense from her.
“Don’t take my name from your filthy mouth,” I snapped, my teeth gritted and my body trembling with fury. Every word was laced with venom, and I felt my chest tighten as if the very air around me had become suffocating. “You disgust me. You are sick. For real. And you just can’t accept it and try to disguise it with the name of love. You don’t hurt the people you love, Barbara. You burn your soul for the person you love and make sure not even a crackle of that fire will touch that person. That’s what love is. Not what you did.”
The words kept coming out, each one sharper and more painful than the last, and I couldn’t stop them. She and every psycho “lover” needed to know that that twisted, psychotic way is not love. It’s just a path to destruction, to doom, for both the love and the lovers.
Barbara’s eyes flickered with something I couldn’t quite place, but she wasn’t done. She was shaking now, her voice rising with every word, her desperation or should I say ‘obsession‘ palpable. Her hands trembled, and she bit her lip, as if trying to stop herself from breaking.
“No, my love is also love,” she insisted, her voice cracking under the pressure. Her chest heaved with each breath, her wide eyes searching mine as though hoping I’d understand.
I shook my head, my chest tightening. Her voice made my stomach churn. “No. It’s an obsession. It’s a mental disorder,” I said coldly, my words slicing through the air like a final verdict. “You need to see a doctor.”
Her face contorted, a look of frustration and insanity flashing in her eyes. She wasn’t listening. She wouldn’t listen. My words didn’t matter, like always. Her lips trembled, pressed tightly together as if she were fighting to keep from screaming or saying something she might regret.
“No, it’s love,” she argued, her tone frantic, like a broken record playing the same distorted note over and over again. The desperation in her voice pulled at something inside me, but I was too far gone to feel anything for her now.
I took a step back, every part of me was screaming me to retreat from the madness she was spewing. Her insanity felt all too familiar, the way she was showing her obsession–exactly like Ross.
The flashbacks of my past began to swirl before my eyes, like a hunted soul. Cold sweat slicked my skin, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
“Love doesn’t look like this, Barbara,” I whispered, more to myself than to her, the weight of the moment crashing down. My vision blurred, but I blinked rapidly to clear it, still haunted by her actions. “This isn’t love.” I shook my head, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. “This isn’t love.” I repeated, now, in front of me, it wasn’t Barbara, it was Ross and the illusion
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10:41 Thu, 17 Apr
Chapter 74
shook my heart mercilessly. My chest tightened, breath hitching in my throat. “This isn’t love, Ross. This isn’t-
034
Before I could muster another word, a firm grip on my wrist yanked me away from the haunted hallucination. My heart slammed against my chest, and I yanked my arm, but the grip only tightened.
I gasped, my chest tightening as my pulse thudded in my cars. The room blurred, spinning as everything felt off–balarice, like the ground was shifting beneath me. I turned my head towards the source of the hand, and my eyes met something comforting–Kaiden.
“Kaiden,” I breathed, my voice barely audible, a mix of relief and confusion flooding through me. My chest rose and fell unevenly, the air feeling too thick to breathe.
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, his gaze locked onto mine, his expression unreadable but fierce, like a storm brewing beneath calm waters. I saw the tension in his jaw, the clenched fists at his sides. Without warning, he tugged harder at my wrist, pulling me with him as if there was no space for hesitation, no time for me to protest. His movements were swift, decisive, like a force of nature.
“Kai-“I stumbled for a second, trying to regain my footing, my shoes scuffing against the floor, but Kaiden didn’t seem to care. His grip tightened, pulling me up the stairs.
“Kaiden, you’re hurting her!” Barbara’s voice echoed through the room, sharp and accusing, forcing him to stop. He slowly turned to face her, his expression twisted in disgust, and his eyes blazed with rage, like he could burn a hole right through her.
“Look, you psycho bitch,” he hissed, his voice cold and cutting, slicing through the air like ice. His breath was steady, but every word felt like it had been dragged from the deepest pit of anger. “You should be thanking whatever god you believe in that you’re still alive after what you did.” His gaze locked onto hers, intense and full of fury, like he was trying to push her back with nothing but his eyes. “You’ve got 24 hours to leave West Sterlingo and never come back.”
He took a small step closer, his jaw tight, the muscles in his neck tense. His voice dropped to a menacing whisper, low and dangerous. “Or I’ll make sure your name’s on the register at West Sterlingo Mental Hospital by tomorrow.”
Barbara stood still, her face pale and her body shaking, as if she couldn’t move from the weight of his anger.
He then pulled me again, dragging me up the stairs with more force. I could feel his anger pulsing through every step he took, his resolve clear as day. The sound of his boots pounding against the floor felt like an echo in my chest. I glanced back one last time, to see Barbara, just standing there, her eyes wide, lost, as if she hadn’t fully grasped the weight of what had just happened. The silence between us felt like a weight pressing down on me, but I couldn’t stay. I had to move forward.
Even though Kaiden’s grip was unrelenting, harsh, and brimming with fury, but there was a strange sense of relief in the confrontation, as if his anger somehow wrapped around me like a shield. His closeness sent an electric pulse through me, a rush of energy that left my skin tingling.
I don’t understand. He was hurting me, right? But why does his anger feel more comforting and safer than the people around me who had always claimed to love me?
To be continued…
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