Chapter Sixteen
Ava’s POV
I hadn’t truly lived in weeks.
Every morning followed the same distressful routine, waking up to a crushing emptiness, my body already exhausted before the day had even begun. The moment my eyes fluttered open, nausea twisted my insides, sending me rushing to the bathroom to retch until I was left trembling and breathless on the cold tiled floor.
The rest of the day blurred into a bottomless cycle of sleep and nothingness, my body too drained to do anything else, not even eating. The thought of food alone made me want to retch out my intestines.
The doctor called it a mix of pregnancy symptoms and depression. But I knew better.
It was grief. A grief so deep it had settled into my bones, weighing me down, making every breath feel like a chore, every thought feel like a haunting nightmare.
And at night? At night, I cried into my pillow until it was soaked, biting down on my sobs so Phoenix wouldn’t
hear. But she did.
I saw the worry in her eyes, the way she lingered in doorways every morning before leaving for work, the way she nudged plates of food toward me, hoping I’d take a bite. I appreciated it, I really did. But nothing could fix the empty ache inside me.
Kyle’s betrayal had shattered me so completely that the only thing binding me to life was the tiny bundle of life inside me, the child I hadn’t even met yet but could it presence in my every being.
But this morning something felt different.
As I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, my eyes swollen from the previous night’s tears, I knew I couldn’t keep going like this. If I let grief swallow me whole, I’d lose myself completely. That would be the complete opposite of what I promise my child.
I had to do something. Anything.
Dragging myself up, I reached for the cinnamon stick Phoenix had left by my nightstand, rolling it between my fingers before placing it between my lips. She had sworn it would help with nausea. It wasn’t a miracle cure, but at least it numbed the constant churning in my stomach,
Forcing myself to stand, I shuffled to the bathroom and froze at the mirror.
The woman staring back at me was a stranger.
Pale skin. Gaunt cheeks, a result of missed meals. My lips were dry and cracked at the edges. My once vibrant green–gold eyes were swollen, dull, and lifeless. A few days after my arrival, I had taken a pair of scissors to my honey–blonde hair, chopping off the length in a desperate attempt to shed the past. But all I had done was create a reflection I barely recognized, not the fresh start I had hoped for.
My fingers trailed over my stomach. It was still flat, but I felt it, the presence of my child. A reminder that I wasn’t truly alone.
My throat tightened, and I forced my gaze away.
The shower helped, the warm water easing some of the tension in my muscles. After changing into a loose
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Chapter Sixteen
sweater and loose pants, I stepped into the kitchen, surprising Phoenix, who nearly dropped the spoon she
was holding.
“You’re up,” she said slowly, blinking as if she wasn’t sure I was real.
I couldn’t blame her. For the past few weeks, I had barely left my room unless she dragged me out, and even that had stopped after the second week.
“Surprise,” I forced out a weak smile.
Phoenix just stared, as if I’d grown a third head. Embarrassed, I cleared my throat and muttered, “I figured it
was time.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, but then a slow smile spread across her face. She nudged a plate toward me as if she had been waiting. “Eat.”
I did, reluctantly.
After breakfast, she glanced at me carefully. “I’m heading to the shop. Wanna come with?”
I wanted to say no. The idea of being around people, and engaging in small talk, made my skin crawl. But what was the alternative? Another day wasted by my body buried under my covers, drowning in my own
misery?
I had promised myself a fresh start, but I hadn’t even tried. Now could be the moment to break the curse.
I took a breath and nodded. “Yeah, I think I need to get out.”
Not up to an hour later, we arrived at Phoenix’s shop. Her shop was small but lively, bursting with chatter and laughter of both her workers and customers. The scent of hair products filled the air, mixing with the faint aroma of nail polish and coconut oil. Women occupied nearly every seat, some getting their hair braided, others getting their nails done, laughter and gossip bouncing off the walls.
I stayed in a corner, munching on crackers, trying to blend into the background. A head warmer covered my short hair, shielding me from the stares I imagined people were giving me.
But I was wrong.
No one saw me.
The shop was s too busy for anyone to notice me. It was like no one was interested which felt strange yet comforting to an extent if only I could relax completely.
For a moment, I got distracted watching the stylists work their magic, watching women come and go, a new confidence in their eyes and stride. The kind of power only a fresh hairstyle and a new makeover could give.
I was proud of Phoenix.
She had only been in town for a few weeks, yet she had managed to open a shop and gather nearly every woman in town under her roof. Meanwhile, I had done nothing but drown in self–pity.
For a moment, I felt like a ghost, watching a world I no longer belonged to.
Then, the news on the small mounted television caught everyone’s attention.
At first, I barely noticed, too lost in thought. But then the shop fell silent, which caught my attention.
And then, a familiar name said on the news sent my heart plummeting.
Chalmer Sixteen
“Kyle Banks,” a reporter said, her voice crisp, and professional. “Seen today with his wife, Lilian Black Banks,
and their newborn son…..
I stiffened, my breath catching in my throat.
“Damn, she’s lucky,” one of the customers muttered, eyes glued to the screen. “I feel bad for his ex–wife, though. Poor woman just disappeared.”
I went rigid.
“She must’ve been heartbroken,” another said, shaking her head. “The man practically cheated on herse
A third scoffed. “I don’t know. I mean Kyle wanted a kid. She couldn’t give him one. Can you really blame him. for moving on? And Lilian gave him a son. They look good together. That’s on period.”
A sharp, burning pain seared through my chest. It felt like I had been punched hard in the gut. My heart pounded mercilessly as if wanting to flee.
I clenched my hands into fists, willing myself to stay still. To not react. To not let them see how their careless words tore into me like a broken glass.
They didn’t know the truth.
They didn’t know what I had gone through, the pain I had endured.
They didn’t know how I had been discarded like I was nothing.
They didn’t know. And yet, they spoke as if my suffering was deserved. As if they know s**t when they didn’t live in my shoes.
I couldn’t breathe.
I pushed up from my seat, my legs shaky as I rushed toward the back, slamming the bathroom door shut
behind me.
My pulse was erratic, my breaths shallow, my body trembling as I slump against the door, their words echoing in my mind like a broken record. How cruel it is to feel this suffocating pain again. To be judged by people who have never lived my life. It’s so easy for them to assume, to whisper, to tear me apart with their words. So easy…. too easy.
A soft knock echoed from the other side, breaking out of my painful thought. “Ava?” Phoenix’s voice was gentle, concerned. “Are you okay?”
I wasn’t. Tears brim in the corner of my eyes. I was bleeding once again when I was supposed to be healing.
But I couldn’t stay in that room either.
So I stepped out, just in time to hear someone say, “Honestly, I don’t think Kyle was ever the bad guy in this situation. He might have cheated, and his child might be tagged illegitimate, but isn’t that better than being called barren?”
That was the final hit.
I turned and dashed out of the shop, not caring if that accompanied with Phoenix calls for me to wait, grabbed any attention.
I didn’t know where I was going.
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Chapter Stren
I just walked.
The streets blurred behind me. The words echoed in my mind, over and over again, tearing through me like swords. My vision blurred, and my heart was heavy with the weight of an unbearable pain – one I had desperately wanted to offload this morning.
It’s so easy for people to judge, to offer their opinions when they’ve never lived every moment of my life. Only when they experience it firsthand would they truly understand the pain and humiliation I had endured and was still enduring.
But why today? Why did they choose today to say these things? Why did the news have to break just when i had finally decided to leave it all behind? Now, I wasn’t sure if I had the strength to stand among people again without getting anxious,
I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stop the trembling, only to realize my body wasn’t just shaking from emotion, it was exhaustion. I had been walking for far longer than I had realized. My feet ached, my throat was parched, my breath ragged, and my vision was slowly turning blurry. And to make it worse, I had
left without my purse.
As if fate itself had turned against me, ready to hurl every obstacle my way, the sky became dark and cloudy.
And then the rain came.
The first drop hit my cheek and I froze.
Thunder rumbled in the distance. The wind picked up. The sky darkened even further.
I couldn’t breathe.
Suddenly, I was a child again, alone, helpless, trapped in a storm I couldn’t escape. My breath hitched, my chest tightening as the wind howled, the heavy raindrops biting into my skin like needles.
No. No. No.
I stumbled backward, my hands cradling my soaked and trembling body as the past crashed into me like a speeding car. The memories of a stormy night from years ago, of the screams, the tears, and the fear crashed into my memory.
Lightning cracked across the sky, followed by a ground–rattling thunder.
My body jerked violently, a sharp yelp ripping from my throat as my trembling hands flew to my ears. The air felt too thick and too cold, my lungs refused to expand. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even run Get your act together. Get it together.
I tried to calm myself, but the suffocating and crushing weight in my chest only grew heavier and tighter, making it hard to perform normal respiration. My vision faltered, colors shifting into darkness. My heartbeat pounded, too fast, too erratic, each beat hammering into my ears like banging music.
I was going to faint. I knew that even before my knees buckled. I hit the ground hard, pain tearing through my exposed skin, but I barely registered it.
The voices around me and my environment blurred into nothing. The icy rain bit into me, soaking me to the bone, but I couldn’t feel it anymore.
I was lost. Drowning in the memory of my past.
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My breathing turned shallow, my vision darkening even further until the storm of my past swallowed me
whole.
And then come blackness
The oddluna
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