Chapter 303
“And when I found out that you didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter, and you weren’t stopping to think straight… to see that we were meant for each other–even before Selene decided it–I had to act for both of us, baby.”
His eyes shimmered earnestly and hauntingly. “I did it for us.”
And God help me, I almost felt sorry for him.
Almost.
Because what he was going through… what I thought he was going through… It was no longer just obsession. It was a delusion wrapped in affection.
It was love turned inside out.
Whatever I thought he was going through was morphing into something else.
“No, Kes. My voice broke, and a tear slipped free before I could stop it. “You don’t decide for people.”
I took a step back.
“You don’t plant cameras in people’s rooms. You don’t bore a hole through a wall just to spy on someone like I’m some… some pet you’re watching.”
I shook my head, barely holding it together. “You don’t get to hurt people and then think it’s okay just because you love them. Can’t you see how much you’re hurting me?”
Kester stood there, frozen, as if my pain had finally reached that part of him that didn’t know how to process guilt.
His lips parted slightly. A tremor ran down his fingers. Then he brought one trembling hand to his chest–right over his heart–like he needed to physically hold it together.
“I didn’t mean to,” he whispered, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, butterscotch. I just wanted to keep you close. To keep you safe, baby.”
His voice cracked again. “You’re the only thing in my life that makes sense. And when you look at me like this, like I’m something to fear…” He choked on his words, eyes watering. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to exist without you loving me back.”
I heaved a shaky sigh.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Mine. I swear, I’m sorry. I won’t do anything to hurt you ever again. No more lies. No more secrets. No more excessive control… I promise.” He pleaded.
He said it like a prayer… Like I was his salvation and damnation wrapped in one.
And I hated that it was working.
I should’ve slapped him. Screamed. Pushed him away. I wanted to. God, I swear I wanted to.
But I didn’t move,
Because he was getting through to me–and not just through his words. No. He was getting to my very soul through the mate bond. Through the ache that tied our souls together. Through that invisible thread that tugged tighter the longer I stared into his eyes.
“I see it, Kes,” I said softly, almost against my will. “I see that you’re hurting too.”
1/3
14/13 Fri, May
Chapter 303
My voice wasn’t even mine anymore. It was hushed and ragged like run a thousand miles just to arrive at this one impossible moment with him.
“But why do you hurt the people you claim to love?” I asked, blinking back another tear. “Why do you hurt me?”
He took another shaky step forward, and I didn’t stop him.
“I don’t mean to, baby. I swear to God,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m just… I’m fucked up in the head, I know. I know I’m too much. I know I’ve crossed lines. But I feel too much. And when it comes to you- he broke off, his jaw clenching like he was trying to cage something wild inside him, “-when it comes to you, there’s no in–between for me. It’s either everything or I fall apart.”
He reached for my hand and held it like it was something so fragile and sacred. His thumb rubbed a slow, trembling circle against my palm.
“I don’t want to scare you,” he murmured, his eyes glistening. “I dont want to be the reason you flinch or cry or feel like you’re suffocating. I just… I need you to know that loving you is the only thing I know how to do right
My heart clenched.
Goddamn him.
Because he meant it.
His fingers moved from my hand to the side of my face, and I let him. I fucking let him. Maybe I was just tired. Maybe I was weak Maybe the bond was playing games with my head again. Or maybe… maybe I still wanted to believe that somewhere in this wreckage, there was a version of Kester whom I could love back and save.
His thumb brushed my cheek, catching another tear I hadn’t noticed had fallen.
“You don’t have to forgive me right now,” he said softly. “I don’t deserve it. I know that. But I just… I need to hold you, Kasmine.
Please.”
And I couldn’t breathe.
I was too full of everything–grief, confusion, longing… him.
I opened my mouth, maybe to say no. Maybe to scream. But then his lips found mine before I could speak.
He kissed me like I was the last prayer he had left in him.
And I-
I kissed him back.
Because I was too tired to fight it anymore. Too tired to pretend that I didn’t crave the softness he saved only for me. Too tired to deny the bond between us, fusing pain with desire in a way that only we could understand.
His hands cupped my face. And I hated how much I needed that. I hated how my knees buckled slightly when his mouth deepened the kiss, when his fingers slid into my hair, and when his breath hitched like he couldn’t believe I hadn’t pulled away yet.
All I felt was his warmth.
His regret.
His goddamn need for me.
2/3
14:13 Fri, May
Chapter 303
Slowly, he pulled away with his eyes closed and his hands still cupping my face. Then he asked, ‘Should we take this inside?” that is a start at least he sees it is wrong a bit although he still plays victim and justify himself. I am glad she is standing up for herself and telling him it is wrong. He put her…
