Chapter 19
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The forgiveness and joy Ryder had expected to see on my face never materialized. That one simple words made his expression freeze.
He couldn’t understand why I still didn’t care, even after he’d laid his heart bare. Looking at my cold face through the window, he felt like he could barely breathe. But time was running out, so he continued his confession, holding nothing back. “Autumn, you’re the only one I care about now. Please give me one more chance. I swear, this time I won’t make the same mistakes. I’ll tell everyone about our relationship, I’ll treat you as well as I used to, and if you want, we can get engaged right away. I’ll give you the clear, certain future you deserve.”
Every word Ryder spoke was filled with conviction and sincerity.
Looking at his earnest face, I lowered my eyes, finally seeing everything clearly. If he’d said these things just two months earlier, I would have believed him without question.
Unfortunately, the world has no room for “what ifs.”
And I no longer wanted whatever future he was offering.
“I don’t believe you love me, and I don’t see a future for us. If that’s all you wanted to say, then let me be perfectly clear: there is absolutely no chance for you and me.” The last flicker of hope in Ryder’s heart was extinguished.
His face darkened, his body trembling slightly, the veins on his clenched fist standing out.
Those grief–stricken eyes stared deeply into mine, his voice choked with emotion. “Why? Autumn, I’ve admitted I was wrong. Why can’t you forgive me? Have you forgotten that you once said you only wanted to be with me? Have you forgotten your promise that you’d never leave me?”
Of course I remembered saying those things.
After all, there was a time when Ryder and our relationship were the most
important, most precious things in my life.
But all promises have an expiration date, contained within the time when I still loved him.
And now, Ryder and I were practically strangers.
What was the point of talking about promises and old feelings?
So I didn’t give him the chance to continue his performance of repentance and regret.
“Have YOU forgotten saying you only saw me as a buddy? That being with me
meant
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11:36 AM Thu 24 Apr
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19
a life with mothing to look forward to? Have you forgottem saying you could never love me? You seem to remember everything except those words!”
Ryder’s fface grew ashen as my strong voice drove each point home.
Alll those careless, thoughtless words he’d said im the heat of the moment came backk liike boomerangs, striking him right in the heartt.
He kept shaking his head, trying to deny it all!.
“It wasn’t like that, Autumn. I didn’t know I loved youtthen, that’s why I said those
things…”
“What about when you bragged about our ‘private relationship‘ at the bar with yo ffriends? Did you ever think there would be consequences?”
With that single sentence, I answered all the questions that had been haunting
Ryder.
He finally understood why I’d confronted Elle attthelbar, and why after that night, things could never go back to how they were.
I had been outside the private room and heard their entire conversation! Realizing this, Ryder felt like his head wass buzzing, his blood flowing backward (through his veins.
His mind raced, trying to come up with some explanation.
Instinctively, he reached through the window, trying to grab my hand to keep me there a little longer.
But seeing that his time was up, I didntthesitate for a second and closed the window.
His hand was caught, turning purple and blue, but he still wouldn’t pull it away. Thin streams of blood trickled down the window, filling the air with a metallic sme
I frowned as I glanced at him, lowering the window just enough to push his limp hand out.
After closing the window again, I started the car, leaving him with one finall statement, my voice ass coddassiace.
“Your fake, selfish version of love? Save it for Elle. I don’t need it.”
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